Hi, I'm Nilan (he/they), and this is where I put my FFXIV brainworms.
I also make mods and poses sometimes.
(If you're waiting on me to port that one hairstyle, I'm sorry)

Character Basics

"I'm sorry, I know I'd be better off if I just minded my own business, but I can't just let you suffer like this - not when I know I can help you."

Name: Naresh (n uh - r ey sh)Race: Rava VieraHeight: 6’ 3.4″ (191.5cm)Hair Color: BlackEye Color: GoldenAge: 25 (as of DT)Gender: Male (trans, he/him)Sexuality: BisexualPersonality: Empathetic, Hero Complex, Disillusioned, ReservedJobs: DRK - RPR - DNC - VPR

1: Dalamud's Fall

"You really expect me to just sit back and watch?" █████ stomped their foot in frustration, "How much of our home has already been destroyed because of them? How many lives will you sacrifice for the sake of tradition?"The fall of Dalamud occured when Naresh was 15. It caused a massive fight between Naresh and his mother Divra, the leader of their village in the Golmore Jungle, about the role of the Viera and the impending threat of Garlean invasion. He was already on thin ice with her as she refused to allow him to become a wood warder due to his assigned gender, but this fight is what lead to his exile. It was then that he vowed to one day bring an end to the Garlean Empire, one way or another.Due to his inexperience however, he was easily captured by the IVth Imperial Legion not long after his first encounter with them. He was forced to work as laborer with the other captured prisoners, but not before being tortured and experimented on in order to force him into submission and maximize his efficiency. While most attribute Naresh's inhuman strength to Hydaelyn's blessing, it's ironically actually that Garlean hypertuning that gave him his obscene strength and endurance.

2: Newfound Family

"My name? ...I don't have one anymore.""Ah, you were only recently exiled then?" Veena pondered to herself for a moment, "Well, I always thought if I had a son I would name him Naresh... you can have that name instead, if you'd like."It was during this time that he met a Raen woman named Veena, the leader of a dance troupe from Thavnair. She and her troupe had been captured during the first Garlean raids of Ala Mhigo, where they had been performing at the time. She took Naresh under her wing and gave him a new family. Despite their circumstances, the troupe would still practice their craft in secret, inspiring hope that the prisoners' cultures lived on in them despite being stolen from their homelands. It was through Veena's strict instruction that Naresh picked up the art.

3: The Frozen Scythes

"You have every right not to trust me, I don't blame you. But I can't sit back and watch as the world burns because of the damned ambitions of a few inbred bastards and the complacency of many ignorant fools."Four years after his exile and Garlean capture, Naresh met Durand. Durand was the leader of The Frozen Scythes, a small resistance group of reapers who used their power to free prisoners and help them escape to Eorzea. Durand himself was related to Druscilla by blood, and his connection to her was part of what made his operation feasible.Their primary methods involved integration into a Castrum's guard network to learn the typical schedule, as well as to get to know the prisoners and determine who could be relied on to assist with the escape. It was through this that Durand discovered Naresh and the dance troupe, and together they formed a plan of escape. Naresh found Durand's ambition inspiring, and found himself wanting to join his cause rather than leave for Eorzea.

4: Escape to Eorzea

"I'm too old for this, Naresh. Besides, the people here still have need of my skills. They need hope, and that's something we dancers can provide."Unfortunately, the Empire had been tracking Durand and his group of freedom fighters. While The Scythes were initially successful in the early steps of their plan, they were soon discovered. Many of both prisoners and Scythes alike were killed in the bloodshed. Some, including Durand himself, were captured. Despite this, a few prisoners including Naresh escaped.Some of the troupe, including Veena, stayed behind, as they wanted to continue to spread hope through dance amongst the oppressed people of Garlemald.Once he made it to Eorzea he got in contact with Drusilla as Durand bade him, and she helped him get established in Ul'dah. A year after his escape, Naresh met Thancred while on a job for Drusilla - this led to him joining the Scions. Naresh still holds guilt for leaving the troupe and Durand behind, and he hoped to find and free them one day.

ARR-Onwards Notes

  • ARR - EW takes place in four years total. Naresh physically transitioned just before ARR.

  • DNC is stylistically more comparable to Indian classical dance styles (Orientalism be gone lmao) and Veena's troupe in particular's style is most reminiscent of Bharatanatyam.

  • Naresh has a special interest in botany (from learning Viera survival skills) and his favorite flower is the moonflower.

  • Unknown to him, Naresh's father was a Hannish adventurer. He also has a half-brother, a midlander named Jayanth.

  • Naresh initially developed feelings for Durand because he saw him as the hero he himself wanted to be. But Naresh was forced to learn that Durand's ignorance and naiveté as a relatively privileged Garlean made him more focused on his own reputation and ambition over the true needs of the people he was supposed to be helping.

  • Naresh develops PTSD from his time before ARR, though he tries very hard to ignore it.

  • [HW] When Naresh picked up Dark Knight, Fray sometimes looked like Durand as both a reflection of his own guilt and feelings for him. The events of the Dark Knight questline helped him heal from the wound in part.

  • [P-SB] The trauma of both the Ala Mhigans and the Domans exacerbated Naresh's own PTSD, yet he still tries to ignore it.

  • [ShB] The physical trauma of containing so much Raw Light permanantly affects Naresh's eyes, both lightening them and giving his irises a crystal-like look. This, inevitably, also exacerbated his PTSD.

  • [P-ShB] Naresh recognizes G'raha's romantic feelings for him but due to his lingering guilt about Durand, he feels unworthy of his love - especially with how highly G'raha regards him - and tries to subtly reject his advances. He feels like G'raha has feelings for "The Warrior of Light" rather than Naresh himself, making him unable to return G'raha's feelings.

  • [P-ShB] Azem's name was Vishnu, and they were nonbinary.

  • [EW] The lopporits' rabbit-like appearance was inspired by Venat's memories of Naresh and his ears.

  • [P-EW] Durand had been severely tortured, which caused his Avatar to corrupt him into a voidsent in an attempt to protect him from turning into a blasphemy. Naresh found him wandering Ilsabard, slaughtering Garleans and Eorzeans alike. While Naresh was able to recognize Durand, he still had to put him down. The experience broke Naresh's heart and reopened old wounds, further exacerbating his PTSD to an unbearable level.

  • [P-EW] Naresh managed to find and free the remaining members of his old dance troupe. Veena had since passed, but those who had stayed with her gave him her ashes, which he then scattered on the beaches of Thavnair. He lives in Thavnair with his old dance troupe during the P-EW questline. This helps him heal a little, but the guilt of never getting to see Veena again eats away at him.

  • [P-EW] During his time re-integrating his old dance troupe into Thavnair, he became close with Aruna, one of its members. Her bright and adventurous spirit, despite everything she'd been through, was deeply inspiring to him. It wasn't long until Naresh fell in love with her. Due to all the trauma he's collected over the years, however, he can't bring himself to tell her his feelings.

  • [DT] Upon arriving in Tural, Naresh quickly picks up Viper from the local hunters, finding it's speedy style intriguing.

  • [DT] Naresh finds Wuk Lamat very endearing, and comes to see her like a sister. Her growth helps him heal a little.

  • [P-DT] Naresh is horrified by the use of souls in Alexandria initially, but slowly comes to understand and respect it in terms of medical use - he still abhors the idea of it's use for entertainment such as in the Arcadion.

  • [P-DT] Naresh meets his half-brother, lost and without purpose, in Tural. They don't know they're brothers yet.

Monster

⟡ Endwalker, Tertium Questline ⟡

“ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ. ᴍʏ ᴄᴏᴍʀᴀᴅᴇꜱ, ᴍʏ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ…ꜱᴡᴇᴘᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀꜱɪᴅᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴅᴏᴢᴇɴꜱ, ᴀꜱ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ…ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴏɴꜱᴛᴇʀ.”Naresh’s jaw clenched - it was all he could do to keep his boiling rage at bay. He knew he had to keep his emotions in check for the sake of the twins, but the hypocrisy of the elezen woman before him was almost too much to bear.He stepped closer, towering over her as the intensity of his piercing gaze made her blood run cold. The hatred was plain on his face as he spoke, “You have two children in shock collars, like animals, and you dare call me a monster?”
“A safety precaution!” she replied, stepping forward defiantly.
He scoffed bitterly at her, “Typical of your ilk. Was brutalizing entire continents - enslaving and torturing hundreds of thousands of innocents - also a safety precaution?”
She hesitated before replying, “Y-you would do it to us if we hadn’t done it to you—”
“Is that how they justified it to you?”She glared at him, but the words wouldn’t come. She worried she had said too much to provoke him - that savage demon who took everything from her - and the fear spiked in her heart. They stood like that for a painstaking moment, the both of them struggling to wrangle their heated emotions into coherent thoughts.“They weren’t nothing to me,” he finally said quietly, his voice shaking, “I hated them. I hated them more than you could ever know.” He leaned closer, until their faces were barely inches apart, “I promise you, the only reason you’re still alive is because those children you collared want you to be. If it weren’t for them, I would gladly send you and everyone else in this frozen wasteland to meet your ‘friends’ again in The Seventh Hell.”Octavia wanted to retort, but the fear gripped her so deeply that all she could do was stare at the man in horror, mouth agape, as the reality of his words dawned on her. Unable to look away from his terrifying eyes, she thought for a moment she could feel one of his taloned gauntlets pierce through her skin into her rib cage, crushing her heart. But all he did was turn to walk away.

Scythe

⟡ Post-Endwalker ⟡

“ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ɪᴛ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴍᴀɴ?”To my people, a man is a wood warder: a protector of the forest. But what does it actually take to be a protector?Strength alone is not it - Zenos was strong, stronger than most men. Did that make him a protector?That line between seeking strength to become a protector, and becoming the sort of person others need to protect themselves from, is one that can easily be crossed. That’s what makes strength so dangerous. It’s why Garlemald, for all the strength they had to conquer the world, simply ate itself to death.But if you don’t learn to be strong, how can you learn to protect? The answer may not be an easy one, but it’s not as complicated as you think.In your quest for strength, you will find yourself surrounded by violence. But never, ever, let it define you - not the violence you’ve endured, nor the violence you learn to become strong. Never let it become your identity.Yes, people call me “The Warrior of Light,” but it’s not how I define myself - it’s not who I am. Who am I then?I am a botanist. I love plants, especially flowers. Nothing makes me happier than the gentle fragrance of a flower newly bloomed.Do you think that makes me soft? That it makes me a lesser man? Let me ask you then: What is a scythe?The scythe is a gardening tool. Sure, it can be used for violence if needed - that’s where reapers came from, after all - but that’s not what it’s truly for. It’s purpose is to help harvest crops to be used for food and medicine, both of which are things needed for people to live.In other words, the scythe cultivates life - it cultivates community.That is the sort of man I want to be.